Humor in verse

Odd news ,quirky news- in free verse

An office romance improves productivity

A fling or two in office is a good thing with rise in productivity
It improves quality of output but sadly reduces overall quantity.

“HAVING an office romance IMPROVES your quality of work, a survey claims.
Researchers found the thrill of a fling “raised energy levels and led to

 better professional capacity”.
One in five people quizzed by Italian sexologist Serenella Salomoni 
admitted to an affair at work.
She said: “We discovered that people who had an office romance said
they were happier, more energetic and more productive.”
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Of cabbages and condom kings

If you buy just two kilos of cabbages
You get a nice pack of condoms free
We are now stocking up on cabbages
For the ensuing monsoon with glee.

 DELHI (Reuters) – India, struggling to promote greater condom use among its population, is looking to hire its own “condom man” to follow the example of a former Thai cabinet minister who successfully pushed for safer sex, the Times of India reported.

National AIDS Control Organization (NACO) chief Sujatha Rao said that India needed to find someone like Mechai Viravaidya, famous for getting Thais to talk about sex, condoms and AIDS. Viravaidya became famous in Thailand as the “Condom King” for actions such as taking condoms to World Bank talks as well as for the name of his Bangkok restaurant “Cabbages and Condoms,” where condoms are a major part of the decor.

   
 
       
 
 

   
 
       
 
 
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The Spanish cows seem to appreciate classical music and have rather a dim view of rock and jazz


The Spanish cows have eclectic tastes 
When they go about their normal lactation
But as cognoscenti they choose Mozart 
Over rock and jazz without hesitation.

"The Chirigota farm on the outskirts of Madrid is using an innovative system to produce the best quality milk possible from its milking cows.

The bovines are treated like VIP's at this Spanish farm with the help of accessories such as waterbeds, electronic brushes and sprinklers that have turned the complex into a five-star hotel for pampered cows.

However, the biggest influence on milk quality, according to the farm owners, is the use of music. It is not any old music though, but that of the composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. The placid harmonies of the Austrian composer's concerto for flute and harp in D major is played continually at milking time. The music soothes the nerves of the Friesians.

"It only happens with Mozart and although it was discovered by monks in Brittany, the idea is being used mainly in Israel. We in fact have specialists come over from Israel to explain to us new concepts of production. And it was them that told us to use Mozart," said Nicolas Sieber, the head of marketing for the milking farm and company."

http://www.eitb24.com/new/en/B24_49924/life/COW-COMFORT-Do-you-want-to-improve-your-cows

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It is not the Li’s that wear most pants in China

In China it is not the Li’s and Tong’s that wear most pants
The Wangs are more in number, both in uncles and aunts.

(A new study has debunked the notion that Li is China’s most popular surname)

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The goat is cuter than Freud

A goat’s statue with a comely goatee should rightly adorn our square
A psycho-analyst with a flowing beard is not all that cute and rare.

(“A plan to have a monument to Sigmund Freud has been turned down by
locals in Prague who want to have a statue of a goat instead.The
monument will be erected in the area of the city known as Goat Square
where there have been no goats for hundreds of years.Freud was born in
the Czech Republic but lost out to the goats after locals started a
protest group called “The Friends of the Goat”.)
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When behind the wheel you cannot blow your nose


All the traffic rules and the law stuff the Scottish cop knows
When behind the wheel you cannot blow your runny nose
Just let the wind spray your liquid on others in liberal dose.


PRESTWICK, Scotland, Jan. 28 (UPI) — A Scottish motorist who was ticketed for blowing his nose while his car was stopped in clogged traffic said he will take the charge to court.
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A chronic case of “guestritis”



This honored guest has talked for thirty hours without break
Her friend is sick with chronic “guestritis”, what the heck.

“A desperate German woman finally called emergency services to rescue her after a friend visited her and talked for 30 hours straight, authorities said Tuesday.”

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They prefer hot water bottles


The Brits are not all that romantic
And to the fairer sex,often phlegmatic
They rather prefer hot water bottles
Often found useful for pains rheumatic.

A new study by the psychologist Professor Richard Wiseman claims that British men are less likely to make romantic gestures than men from other parts of the world — in fact, they are less likely to pay compliments, be inspired to write love poetry or take their loved ones away for surprise holidays than their foreign counterparts.

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Seismologists are an ignorant lot


The poor scientists don’t know much about earthquakes
We know a woman’s revealing dress is all that it takes
To bring about such seismic activities in lands and lakes
And it is by now clear that if, too hard, you rock your bed
You will rock the earth and the sky and will end up dead.

TEHRAN: A senior Iranian cleric has claimed that dolled-up women incite extramarital sex, causing more earthquakes in Iran, a country that straddles several fault lines, newspapers reported on Saturday.“Many women who dress inappropriately … cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes,” Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at Tehran Friday prayer.

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For our military strategy we have a beautiful power point presentation

Due to our innovative “spaghetti” slide we have superiority
Over the dastardly enemy who decidedly cannot hide
Our strategy is well mapped out in our brilliant slide.
With such a powerful slide we will soon achieve our victory
Just give us a little time to understand the damned slide.



Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal, the leader of American and NATO forces in Afghanistan, was shown a PowerPoint slide in Kabul last summer that was meant to portray the complexity of American military strategy, but looked more like a bowl of spaghetti.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/27/world/27powerpoint.html
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